2014 Year in Review

I have been spending a lot of time lately transcribing some year-in-review material and it's caused me to think about that: what this last year was all about. Reflecting isn't always easy when the year was a challenging one.

The year 2014 started off in the worst possible place for me. I was, for all intents and purposes homeless. I had closed down my life in Wisconsin to move to Florida and live with a friend. Our plan had been to spend our silver years enjoying each other's company and living out our days in the Florida sun, on the beach.

Suffice it to say it didn't work out as planned. The details aren't important. I've accepted that "shit happens" and it certainly happened at the start of the year. So I was reborn, yet again, as a "carpet bagger". It wasn't my physical condition that was dragging me down as much as it was my mental condition. I had slipped into a very dark place.

My daughter, bless her heart, took me under her wing. For being all of 105 pounds, she's fierce when it comes to defending and protecting those she loves. I so appreciate that about her. Even when she was little, a tiny child on a school bus, she stood up to a bully who was taunting her friend and paid the price by getting physically tossed around, and yet she came back just as fierce as ever in her friends defense.

She took me in and made sure I was taking care of myself, and yes, I was that far into the darkness of the hopelessness that I wasn't really paying attention to even some of the basics. She nurtured me, cajoled me, taunted me at times to get my "sorry ass" in gear and get back to living. 

My friends in Wisconsin rallied around as well. They are such great people who have hearts of gold. They ensured I had things to do, people to connect with, places to go. They took me in, like my daughter, and helped to bring light back into the darkness I had fallen into. 

In all honesty, it was nip and tuck for awhile, but slowly, slowly, the light started shining into the corners, the heaviness that weighed on my heart so terribly started to lift and even when it seemed that I was just going through the motions, it felt like I was moving away from the "suck zone" that the depression I was battling had me trapped in.

I was able to do some work for the company that I had retired from. I was able to get more work to do online with people that I enjoyed, and by Spring, early Summer I was doing much better. I am forever grateful to my "ladies" who made sure that we had regular lunches together and just chatted and laughed and shared.

I did break off all contact with my friend in Florida. I had to in order to move on. I have come to the place where I wish her well and hope life holds only good things for her. There is no fault in what happened, just events that spun in bad directions.

My dream of living back by the beach never completely faded. I grew up on the ocean and I wanted to spend my last years by the ocean and in warmer climates (Wisconsin winters are brutal). So I packed up my things, once again, and sight unseen rented a place in Florida on the east coast and headed back down to the Sunshine State. This time my daughter decided to come with me.

I have been in Florida, on the east coast now for three months. We are settled into a small apartment that is just perfect for the two of us. I continue to do my work online and to build my book of business, and Jess has a new boyfriend and is working to build a life for herself down here.

I love getting up in the morning and opening the patio doors to hear the sound of birds singing and to enjoy the warm air. I love to hear the children playing and people going about their lives as I enjoy the indoor/outdoor lifestyle that this region affords. 

I have found and explored every farmers market, and every health-food store. I am over-the-moon pleased that we have a Trader Joe's here. The beach and ocean are a short drive away and the sun shines a lot more than in Wisconsin this time of year. 

I love the spiritual opportunities here: the church I've connected to, the Buddhist monastery that I am a part of. I love the rich culture of the area. The delightful parts of the city that have eclectic coffee shops and tantalizing import bazaars. 

Life is slower here, but that feels right as well. There is an ease of life that doesn't have to be crammed into a few short months before it's driven indoors. There is something satisfying to be able to smell fresh mowed grass year round.

I miss my people in Wisconsin. They are a forever part of my heart-space and my extended family. I still stay in touch and call and correspond and connect whenever possible. I will go back and visit when the leaves are on the trees.

So as I look back on 2014 I am grateful for all of the good that so very much outweighed the not so good. I am grateful for the people who cared about me and for me, I am grateful for my dear daughter and my dear friends, and I am pleased to be in a substantially better place than I was at the start of the year.

The year 2015 is beginning with me in a good place physically and emotionally. I have a lot to work on this year and I am excited to do that work and move towards that future me that I am excited to connect with.

Sending you all hugs and best wishes for the coming year.

Love,
Betsy

Looking Back...Looking Forward

2014 was an interesting year. It was my first full year of not working full time for the company that I retired from. I truly enjoyed the change in pace. One of my goals when I left the company in the fall of 2013 was to honor my body's rhythms regarding the need to take breaks, to rest, to meditate: to create space that supported my highest good and my best work. That effort has been amazingly rewarding.

I don't think most businesses understand the loss in productivity and creativity they experience at the expense of regimented work environments. I am reminded of Covey's book The Speed of Trust when I think about how empowering the freedom to be able to create your work space and time-frames allows. So 2014 was a year where I was able to really immerse myself in developing the self trust necessary to create and live optimally.

2014 was my first full year in living the life of a freelance creative. I give a deep bow to Alexandra Franzen for her amazing guidance and inspiration in pursuing this undertaking. There are a lot of collective fears harbored by Baby Boomers around not being gainfully employed. There is a fear that if income requirements were to suddenly find them adrift from the corporate, single employer world, all would be lost. I personally had similar fears as I undertook this adventure towards my better self. At the end of a year I am pleasingly surprised at how much more productive I am; at the variety of work that I do, working only for people I truly like and admire, doing things that truly make a difference in the world. It has been a rewarding year and I continue to grow my income base, spreading it across multiple projects. The upside... the loss of a project or job doesn't throw me on rocky shores. I have found that resilience in resetting the sails and adjusting course is much easier to work through than being cast adrift. I no longer fear the latter outcome as I have a greater opportunity to control the variables.

The year did start on a very sad note for me, as a friendship that I truly valued and thought was a lasting one came to an end. I am now OK with not knowing what really happened, and I choose to forgive and move on, but the loss is still with me and will be for some time. Sometimes relationships aren't meant to last forever, and the important thing is to hold on to the good and let the rest go. So that is something that I have worked on this last year.

My goal of living close to the ocean and in a warmer climate has been realized. In moving from Wisconsin to Florida, I am now in a much better place for me with regards to weather and location. I found myself a virtual shut-in in Wisconsin as I battled allergies and asthma, but in Florida I am able to go to the beach regularly. There are, available to me here, year round Farmer's Markets and fresh organic produce 365 days a year, allowing me to eat healthier.

Spiritually, the beginning of the year saw me having to move away from a spiritual center that I had been volunteering at and felt strongly connected to and move back to Wisconsin. That was a difficult move for me as I felt a strong connection with this center and a strong bond with it's members. I continued to stay in touch and continued to serve and volunteer from a distance. I am pleased that I was able to end the year having moved back to Florida, and in a Compassion Meditation Retreat at my beloved center. It feels that I finally came full circle through this year's detour and am once again back where I am supposed to be and need to be. It feels good.

Finally, the unchanging commitment that I have to the highest good of all is still the thread that continues to weave itself through my life and has for many, many years, so I close this post with my wish for all for the upcoming year and years beyond:

For all of the peoples and the nations of the earth, may not even the names disease, famine, war, and suffering be heard, but rather, may their moral conduct, merit, wealth and prosperity increase and may supreme good fortune and well being always arise for them.

I send this out into the world to take hold in the hearts and minds of people everywhere, to bring peace and compassion, and to enrich lives. Wishing you a year full of blessings.

With Love,
Betsy