CHICKEN LITTLE IS ALIVE AND WELL IN MY HEAD

"THE SKY IS FALLING!! THE SKY IS FALLING!!"

Where does that internal voice come from that is always whispering in my ear, telling me that the car may die at any point, that my job can go away instantly, that those who love me will leave me, that...?

The legacy of worrying and the sense of pending disaster is with me always. I used to say that the fruit didn't fall far from the tree. My Mom was a worrier and I'm a worrier - I have inherited the "W" gene as well.

There is good news! Where, at one point in my life worrying spun me away from anchors and solid ground. Now it occupies a small corner where it is isolated and where it mostly spins on itself. Where, at one point, worry used to own me and drive me with pain, and fear, and a sense of pending disaster, it no longer has that power over me. Except for it's little corner where it lives. My life is full to overflowing with sunshine, and brilliance and beauty, and peace, and power, and prosperity, and love... all good stuff thank you!

How did I accomplish this transformation? Nope, not with drugs or medication. Nope not with alcohol, although that would have been the vehicle of choice had I gone in that direction. Worry in my life was defeated by meditation and gratitude.

You see I have a ritual, every morning of sitting quietly and doing energy work with my body, mind, and spirit. I journal every morning about the things that I'm grateful for in my life. You know, I can fill pages with gratitude! 

I have also come to terms with my personal Chicken Little as I have tremendous compassion for that part of me that, for whatever reason, feels that it can protect me by helping me to pre-live all of the possible disasters that might befall me - just so I'm ready. Yes, I can honestly say I love my Chicken Little, but I no longer give this "Lizard Brain" part of me the authority that it used to have. 

My meditation is pretty simple, my goal is to develop mindfulness around my breathing, and around the present moment. In that end, for Chicken Little and I, the present moment is all I really have.

Hugs,
Betsy

THE WOMAN WHO WORRIED

There was a woman who had a tendency to worry, but she also had developed the habit of letting go of worry. Every time she'd find herself picking up worry, she'd also purposefully set it down.

There were times in her day when she'd realize that she was getting tired and then she'd self reflect and see that she had picked up a load of worry. So she'd set it down.

Worry is like road dust. As you travel through life you can pick it up along the way. Some people never seem to pick up much worry, while others seem to attract it like iron filings to a magnet. It's like when some people wear white clothing and they can wear white clothing for an entire day and at the end of the day it is still white. There are others who will put on white clothing and guaranteed, within a short period of time, it becomes soiled, stained, or marked.

This woman found that she could put down worry by being very still. By being physically still, and by being mentally still. She found that unlike dust, worry falls away if you are still. The more still you are, your mind is, the less of a hold worry has until it slips off and falls away.

This woman knew, from life experience what a heavy burden worry can be and how it can deaden you to your life and the world around you, So she decided to choose to regularly make time to be still, to let worry fall away, because she never wanted to forgot how wonderful and miraculous life really was. She never wanted to lose touch with what it feels like NOT to worry.

She accepted that she may never completely escape worry, because it seemed to be a part of her nature, but she has chosen to be mindful of it and to become its master rather than it becoming hers. That is her victory.

Here is her prescription for worry:

• First, know your personal indicators or signs of worry. Like the symptoms of disease, worry is recognizable by its symptoms. For the woman it was the absence of joy in her life.
• Sit quietly, as needed. Quiet your mind and focus on your breath. In... Out... In... Out... If your mind engages in thought, gently go back to the simplicity of your breath.
• Thoughts should disappear like clouds in the sky.
• Immerse yourself in your breathing. Be in the moment. Feel the present moment, sense the present moment. Relax into the present moment.
• Do this for an extended period of time. Pay attention to your state of mind. If it wanders away from quiet, peaceful, breathing In... Out... In... Out... gently bring it back, again... and again... and again... and again...
• Your mind should be like nature itself, present, rich but not clinging to anything, or any feelings, or any conditions; just being.
• Breathing In... Out.. In... Out...

Hugs,

Betsy

Day 67: A Lovely Evening Spent with Stars and Flame

Fire pit last night. Fire and flame, wood and smoke... a great meditation on impermanence, the natural progression of energy and matter... on transitions... on truly understanding and working with the patterns and rhythms that are continuously unfolding around me, and within me... a lovely evening spent with stars and flame.

Day 47

Enjoyed the translation that Jampa Khedup provided at the Deer Park Buddhist Center in Madison today.  The teaching was on equanimity.  There were some great conversations when the questions came at the end of the teaching about meditation, and the application of meditation to contemplate key challenges to achieving equanimity.  Even though Jess wasn't feeling all that well, we had a good day.