International Women's Day, today. Way to go ladies! So how far have I really come? To frame it in a time capsule I'll put it in the context of my life.
I've had a little of 60 years to "experience" life as a woman. And I have to say that, whether I like it or not my gender has majorly shaped my life and continues to do so. That being said. I am also very clear that despite the parameters life hands me, I WRITE THE STORY.
I am reminded of that quote by Mahatma Gandhi, "You can chain me, you can torture me, you can even destroy this body, but you will never imprison my mind." I have always taken great care to ensure that my mind always had the opportunity to know and experience FREEDOM, even if my body did not.
I have lived with societal pressures and dictates and mores for many, many years. In that time I have managed to break free of these societal bonds at various times and really know the delight and exuberance and pure empowerment of total acceptance and expressive freedom.
The moments of pure freedom I have known? They have been a sustaining torch, a light, that has kept me moving during those other times when all I really wanted to do was curl up in a ball and quit. Is this just a "women's thing"? I don't believe so. The human struggle for acceptance and equality is universal.
The journey from birth to death is about figuring out what works and doing it. It's about honoring all the other journeys that you come up against along the way and celebrating each other's wins, each brilliant spot in each other's path, knowing that there will also be dark moments, and long nights that these moments of brilliance will help us each move through.
After 60 years, for myself, Love has become the common denominator. When I peel away the layers, the behaviors the mores and dictates and look at the brilliance and the FREEDOM I see only LOVE.
Wishing you Love on the most auspicious International Women's Day.
Hugs,
Betsy
It is a lovely morning in Florida. The sun is shining, the birds are singing, and the air is warm. I am so very grateful for the conditions that allow me to live here. This last week has been an interesting one, as it has held a lot of emotion for me with not a lot provoking that emotion, which I find pretty interesting.
I have come out the other side of it, it seems, no worse for the wear. There were some delightful highs and some darker lows. It caused me to wonder if my body isn't kind of stuck in the winter doldrums of Wisconsin even though I'm away from all of that cold and gray and snow, snow, snow. I suppose that a body doesn't necessarily adapt in one season.
Battling winter depression has been such a saga for me, when I lived in Wisconsin. Then I add to that conditioning the stress of relocation and rebuilding my life, yet again. And I can understand how this week came about.
The last two years have been a bit challenging... no, a lot challenging. The wonderful news is that there are so many people who have made it all so much more bearable and enjoyable, even with the challenges. That's really it then isn't it? That the people in our lives hug us and hold us up to the light even when we don't have the energy or inclination to do it for ourselves.
I have a great Tribe... an amazing Tribe. All good, kind, generous souls who network with me regularly to bring out the best in me, the best in them, and the best in the world. I am so very fortunate.
Today holds tremendous potential for completion, and generous endings and brilliant beginnings. Right now is the quiet in the morning, when most are still sleeping. The birds are singing and the leaves on the trees are just coming out. It is springtime here. There's a red headed woodpecker creating a drum beat on the hollow branch outside my open door. Although it's still too cool for the lizards to be active, I anticipate the scurying of anoles and chameleons as the day warms up.
Hugs,
Betsy
There was a woman who had a tendency to worry, but she also had developed the habit of letting go of worry. Every time she'd find herself picking up worry, she'd also purposefully set it down.
There were times in her day when she'd realize that she was getting tired and then she'd self reflect and see that she had picked up a load of worry. So she'd set it down.
Worry is like road dust. As you travel through life you can pick it up along the way. Some people never seem to pick up much worry, while others seem to attract it like iron filings to a magnet. It's like when some people wear white clothing and they can wear white clothing for an entire day and at the end of the day it is still white. There are others who will put on white clothing and guaranteed, within a short period of time, it becomes soiled, stained, or marked.
This woman found that she could put down worry by being very still. By being physically still, and by being mentally still. She found that unlike dust, worry falls away if you are still. The more still you are, your mind is, the less of a hold worry has until it slips off and falls away.
This woman knew, from life experience what a heavy burden worry can be and how it can deaden you to your life and the world around you, So she decided to choose to regularly make time to be still, to let worry fall away, because she never wanted to forgot how wonderful and miraculous life really was. She never wanted to lose touch with what it feels like NOT to worry.
She accepted that she may never completely escape worry, because it seemed to be a part of her nature, but she has chosen to be mindful of it and to become its master rather than it becoming hers. That is her victory.
Here is her prescription for worry:
- First, know your personal indicators or signs of worry. Like the symptoms of disease, worry is recognizable by its symptoms. For the woman it was the absence of joy in her life.
- Sit quietly, as needed. Quiet your mind and focus on your breath. In... Out... In... Out... If your mind engages in thought, gently go back to the simplicity of your breath.
- Thoughts should disappear like clouds in the sky.
- Immerse yourself in your breathing. Be in the moment. Feel the present moment, sense the present moment. Relax into the present moment.
- Do this for an extended period of time. Pay attention to your state of mind. If it wanders away from quiet, peaceful, breathing In... Out... In... Out... gently bring it back, again... and again... and again... and again...
- Your mind should be like nature itself, present, rich but not clinging to anything, or any feelings, or any conditions; just being.
- Breathing In... Out.. In... Out...
Hugs,
Betsy
Walking and nature - a great combination. Last weekend I truly felt in need of doing something that would touch my soul; that would resonate with my core and bring me back to ground. Sometimes there is a real need in my life to return to base-camp.
Base-camp, for me, is a quiet, contemplative place that is rich with space and grace; with acceptance and love. It is a place that at once feels safe and yet also affords amazing freedom. Nature is that place for me.
My mind and body seem to be stuck in the "winter in Wisconsin" mindset, even as I look out my window, in Florida, at a green expanse of lawn and trees heavy with new foliage and azaleas in bloom. Which really helps me to awake to the importance of mindset in whatever we do.
I have been in a bit of a "blue funk" the last couple of days. Just one of those things. It has been a bit rainy and a bit gray and that might be contributing. So I have been doing more meditation and quiet time, which is tremendously helpful. I will go for a walk today, in the rain and take my camera.
I have been meaning to photograph the road on which we now live. It is absolutely magical in places, like entering into another world. It exists in the city but feels like deep, rural south. A walking photo expedition in the rain, that sounds engaging.
The pictures here are from last weekend's walk through Fort Caroline and the Tumucuan preserve. I discovered it while lost and looking for the bird sanctuary out by Amelia Island. I never did make it to the bird sanctuary, so that's is left to another weekend. But I did discover Fort Caroline and the hiking trails around that area.
There is something lovely about a walk through the woods, the call of birds, the wind in the trees, the sun on my back. Fort Caroline is a delightful marriage of coastal waterway, marsh and rolling wooded hikes. It is a very small part of the 46,000 acre Timucuan preserve - an estuary wetland preserve.
You know you've been fully immersed in what you are doing when you realize, after arriving home, that you are covered in a fine powdered dirt that has blackened your sneakers and socks and left your face streaked with gray.
I suppose it's like a child coming in from playing and the surprise on their face when their mother exclaims, "Oh! You are filthy!" Funny, but I reluctantly washed the grime away, as I reveled once more in how it felt getting it there.
If I had a day that I could give you
Id give to you a day just like today
If I had a song that I could sing for you
Id sing a song to make you feel this way
Hugs
Betsy
I had a lovely afternoon at the beach yesterday, with my daughter. We walked for several miles watching the surfers out beyond the break. There was a kite surfer who was very entertaining as he would go flying off the tops of waves, lifted by the parachute he was holding onto.
There was quite a mix of outfits out and about the beach. Jess and I were somewhat bundled up as it was heading into late afternoon and we were expecting a drop in temperatures once the sun went down. But there were people out there in bikinis and bathing trunks playing soccer in the sand and even braving the water, though not for very long.
I love that beach because it is so open to allowing people and dogs to show up and play. People rode by me on their bikes on the beach, and there were runners and joggers. There were couples strolling hand-in-hand and little children writing their names in the sand and building sand castles and forts.
We stopped at Jack's Crab Shack for a snack and a drink while we sat on the outdoor patio and watched the sun go down. The drive back into town was just as glorious as we were headed west and were treated to a vibrant sunset of peach and pink and orange and deep purple. I couldn't have painted a more colorful sky if I'd tried.
Today it is cooler and raining. As I sit here on the patio typing I notice that the leaves are starting to come out on the birches in the quad. Unlike Wisconsin, trees don't really go dormant here as much as they shed their leaves, take a moment to shake off the last years growth and rest a bit, and then come right back to living fully.
Trees in Wisconsin retreat deep into their roots in the ground and to the protected center of their trunks. When they come back to life it's like they are coming out of a season long coma that always seem to have some of us wondering if they survived the winter. Trees in Wisconsin burst to life, in the spring, grabbing every day they can before they are forced to retreat once more.
So today I work and get ahead of the curve because tomorrow is my daughter's birthday and I am dedicating the day to doing some fun and memorable things with her.
Have a great day all and sending you hugs!
Betsy
Hey there, friends, family, acquaintances and the just curious. I am chilling in Florida. Out on the deck this AM with a cup of Java that tastes like cinnamon buns and soaking up some sun and a beautiful sunny Sunday morning. Coming from Wisconsin, it is such a treat to listen to the birds in the morning and to smell fresh mowed grass in February. I'm in northern Florida so there are some seasons, but not like in the Frozen Tundra. Winter is marked by a little more rain and some fall like temperatures. It seems funny to say, but I believe Winter here is one of my favorite seasons.
The beaches are lovely this time of year. You can walk for miles and miles with just enough people out there surfing and flying kites and just enjoying the sand and surf to make it interesting, but not so many to be overwhelming. The surfers are bundled up in their wet suites and seem impervious to the chill of the water as they gather out beyond where the waves break chatting each other up and waiting for their next ride.
You see the most interesting things here. Sometimes it feels like the movie Clock Work Orange doing retirement. There was a woman the other day walking the beach with her raccoon on a leash. A couple of weeks ago there was a highland celebration on the beach and so there were people wandering about with bagpipes, in kilts and some dancing in the streets.
I have a couple of little tea houses that I've found and love to frequent, both for their vegan earth mother atmosphere and for the neighborhoods where they are located. It is so much fun to drive into a neighborhood and watch as the dress and people and way of being totally changes. I am very fond of this one corner of the word where everyone seems to wear black, right down to their black converse high-tops, and they have lots of tattoos, and usually unruly hair, or no hair and they talk about the most interesting things like art, and politics and philosophy.
Today I get to Skype with my people in Medellin, Columbia. A couple of delightful expats that I've connected with in creating on-line training. I love the guys, their energy, their ideas and creativity. I sometimes have to pinch myself to make sure that I'm not dreaming as I get to do what I love, with people that I really like and admire, and make a living at it. I tell you what, life after 60 is getting better and better!
Well, time to put my feet up, have a cup of coffee and enjoy the morning. Wishing all of you the same kind of enjoyable day.
Hugs,
Betsy
I have been spending a lot of time lately transcribing some year-in-review material and it's caused me to think about that: what this last year was all about. Reflecting isn't always easy when the year was a challenging one.
The year 2014 started off in the worst possible place for me. I was, for all intents and purposes homeless. I had closed down my life in Wisconsin to move to Florida and live with a friend. Our plan had been to spend our silver years enjoying each other's company and living out our days in the Florida sun, on the beach.
Suffice it to say it didn't work out as planned. The details aren't important. I've accepted that "shit happens" and it certainly happened at the start of the year. So I was reborn, yet again, as a "carpet bagger". It wasn't my physical condition that was dragging me down as much as it was my mental condition. I had slipped into a very dark place.
My daughter, bless her heart, took me under her wing. For being all of 105 pounds, she's fierce when it comes to defending and protecting those she loves. I so appreciate that about her. Even when she was little, a tiny child on a school bus, she stood up to a bully who was taunting her friend and paid the price by getting physically tossed around, and yet she came back just as fierce as ever in her friends defense.
She took me in and made sure I was taking care of myself, and yes, I was that far into the darkness of the hopelessness that I wasn't really paying attention to even some of the basics. She nurtured me, cajoled me, taunted me at times to get my "sorry ass" in gear and get back to living.
My friends in Wisconsin rallied around as well. They are such great people who have hearts of gold. They ensured I had things to do, people to connect with, places to go. They took me in, like my daughter, and helped to bring light back into the darkness I had fallen into.
In all honesty, it was nip and tuck for awhile, but slowly, slowly, the light started shining into the corners, the heaviness that weighed on my heart so terribly started to lift and even when it seemed that I was just going through the motions, it felt like I was moving away from the "suck zone" that the depression I was battling had me trapped in.
I was able to do some work for the company that I had retired from. I was able to get more work to do online with people that I enjoyed, and by Spring, early Summer I was doing much better. I am forever grateful to my "ladies" who made sure that we had regular lunches together and just chatted and laughed and shared.
I did break off all contact with my friend in Florida. I had to in order to move on. I have come to the place where I wish her well and hope life holds only good things for her. There is no fault in what happened, just events that spun in bad directions.
My dream of living back by the beach never completely faded. I grew up on the ocean and I wanted to spend my last years by the ocean and in warmer climates (Wisconsin winters are brutal). So I packed up my things, once again, and sight unseen rented a place in Florida on the east coast and headed back down to the Sunshine State. This time my daughter decided to come with me.
I have been in Florida, on the east coast now for three months. We are settled into a small apartment that is just perfect for the two of us. I continue to do my work online and to build my book of business, and Jess has a new boyfriend and is working to build a life for herself down here.
I love getting up in the morning and opening the patio doors to hear the sound of birds singing and to enjoy the warm air. I love to hear the children playing and people going about their lives as I enjoy the indoor/outdoor lifestyle that this region affords.
I have found and explored every farmers market, and every health-food store. I am over-the-moon pleased that we have a Trader Joe's here. The beach and ocean are a short drive away and the sun shines a lot more than in Wisconsin this time of year.
I love the spiritual opportunities here: the church I've connected to, the Buddhist monastery that I am a part of. I love the rich culture of the area. The delightful parts of the city that have eclectic coffee shops and tantalizing import bazaars.
Life is slower here, but that feels right as well. There is an ease of life that doesn't have to be crammed into a few short months before it's driven indoors. There is something satisfying to be able to smell fresh mowed grass year round.
I miss my people in Wisconsin. They are a forever part of my heart-space and my extended family. I still stay in touch and call and correspond and connect whenever possible. I will go back and visit when the leaves are on the trees.
So as I look back on 2014 I am grateful for all of the good that so very much outweighed the not so good. I am grateful for the people who cared about me and for me, I am grateful for my dear daughter and my dear friends, and I am pleased to be in a substantially better place than I was at the start of the year.
The year 2015 is beginning with me in a good place physically and emotionally. I have a lot to work on this year and I am excited to do that work and move towards that future me that I am excited to connect with.
Sending you all hugs and best wishes for the coming year.
Love,
Betsy
