Thought 21: Capturing Stillness

Someone once said that life is something that happens to you while you are making plans. I am in a bit of a lull at the moment. You know, one of those rare moments when emails aren't coming in; when projects have been temporarily put on a back burner; when friends are busy, or out of town, or not calling - one of those moments. It's not the norm, but the exception and I'm finding that I have to shake myself out of the habit of doing. I should be REVELING in this moment...rolling in it like a dog who just smelled the most amazing thing and wants to be covered in it...so why is it sooo hard to let go of the doing?

I find myself searching for things that will put a demand on me; feeling lost when there isn't something I haven't done...feeling incomplete without, as the poet Robert Frost put it, "having miles to go before I sleep". My heart wants to love this moment, this ceasing of doing. If anything, it comes as a sense of relief, of exhaustive gratitude for a break, yet the drive to make, to create, to push, pull, drive, understand, develop... it pokes at me incessantly. 

This moment of quiet is an opportunity to really connect with the "life" that is happening while I'm usually making plans. It is a time to be still and just be. The sense that I have that things will fall apart somehow if I am not doing, creating, ,making, becoming, is a lie because if I am gone tomorrow, MY world may no longer exist but THE world would continue without my driving it with my efforts. In the same instance I am absolutely positive that my efforts ARE making a difference, otherwise I would not be as committed as I am to contributing in my small way. Perhaps it is not so much my doing that would be missed but my unique perspective that lends dimensionality to the chaos that is the stuff that life is shaped from. 

Like a star in the heavens, we each twinkle for awhile and when that light goes out the totality of light is forever changed...These are the types of thoughts that this moment was made for.

Thought 20: Labor of Love

It's taken me 60 years to rest in my truth - Life should be a labor of Love.

Believe me, I tried it a LOT of different ways:
- Work hard and you get rewards.
- Give, give, give until you absolutely can't or don't have anything more left.
- Plan it and then stick to the plan.
- Don't even try, just let it happen.
- Let others tell you how to live and then at least you have someone to blame.

The years have peeled away the reasons, one by one, showing them for their misguided approach or failed founding principles.

When I was finally empty. When I finally let go. When I stopped thinking so long and doing so hard, Love found its way to my heart. It quietly entered in, and washed over my view of the world. 

It is simple now. It is Love based, and it just is. I don't have to try, I don't have to be anything or do anything. I can if I want to, but that is not the path of Love, it is simply a potential expression of it. When love entered, so did peace.

I still wrestle with my humanness, but it's more of a friendly arm wrestle now rather than a life or death, self or other struggle. 

Love embraces and that is enough.

With Love

Thought 18: Simple Gifts

Give yourself permission to be outrageously kind, irrationally warm, improbably generous and to feel the sheer joy and celebration in doing this.  If a day were to have a theme, this is certainly a great one. I see the benefits of a day spent like this of being very similar to the benefits that Shakespeare speaks about in his quality of mercy speech from Merchant of Venice:

The quality of mercy is not strained; 

It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven Upon the place beneath. 

It is twice blest;
It blesseth him that gives and him that takes.

To be twice blessed is a win/win. Remember, a warm heartfelt hug provides the hugger and the huggee with a healthy burst of oxytocin which is a key hormone for promoting trust, bonding, and devotion - key to human connectedness. So every time you hug someone, think of it as your own personal act towards nurturing world peace.

Love and hugs,

Betsy

Thought 19: The Seasons of Our Days

Patterns and rhythms, patterns and rhythms...they play throughout our lives like sunlight playing through the leaves of a tree mottling the ground beneath with light and shadow. The syncopation of life is a story of patterns and rhythms - rising and falling, sustaining then changing - an orchestration of time and space - patterns of light and dark.

It fills our senses. Listen and you can hear it. Look and you can see it. You are immersed in it, cradled in it. One moment you are lifted by it's sweet metered pulse, and the next moment you are driven down by it's relentless pounding beat. It is life. It is equal to the same force that erodes deep canyons; abrading, carving, wearing - exposing the layers that time has deposited. It is the same force that pushed up mountains; tearing, crushing, driving - fiercely reducing granite to rubble and shaping rock like clay.

It is equivalent to the delicate beauty of a butterfly's wings, to the transparent aqua  blue-green of the curl of a wave. It is life. Hear it in the song of a bird. Feel your body move to it in the rhythm of day and night; of youth and old age; of life and death.

It is impermanent. It will not last, or ever be the same as it was sometime in the past. It is an amazing, powerful, delicate, creative gift that will ultimately end in your demise. It is Life.

I choose to love it. I choose to be grateful for it. I choose to make the most of it. I choose to live what time I have, as brilliantly as I can. I choose to celebrate myself and others on this wonderful journey. So here's to life! May we all live long and prosper.

Thought 17: Bits and Pieces That Come Together

I am walking along the beach, my feet grounded deep in the sand, my head in the azure, sun-drenched sky, and my body and spirit are connecting each to the other - a prism of joy, happiness and gratitude. I walk balanced between sand and sky - between earth and heaven, and the ocean sings to me. Its voice rising and falling, its waves flashing as it forms its language, unintelligible to the human ear but so enchanting. My heart dances with the waves, my rhythms become one with those of the wind and sea. I turn to see my footprints in the sand of where I have been, soon swept clean and erased by the water's ebb and flow. They are forgotten as I I look ahead, down the beach, at the stretch of bright white sand that teases me to continue my walk. This is the landing strip for my soul. I follow the sea birds as they dive and sweep, dart and call. I sit for awhile on the top of a dune, watching the wind move through the sea grass, stirring it into motion, rustling as it passes through the grass and trails off down the beach in small spirals of sand. This world of sea, and sand, and sun, is intoxicating, and I drink until I can't possibly take in any more. This day is a gift like no other, and I look forward to saying the same thing...tomorrow...and the next day...and the next...


This is my life, as I've always dreamed of it. I love my cottage by the sea "Coeur de la Mer". It is an indoor statement of light and water and sand so that it mirrors a sunny day at the beach. Piece by piece I found exactly what fit. Yard sales, estate sales, friends knowing just the piece. The interior is a lovely orchestration of gestures of art and love, in furniture and wood, in fabric and paint. Put your ear to this cottage and you can hear the ocean. Step out on the deck and feel the sea breeze as it pushes the hammock and the seat swing. Everything designed for comfort, designed to move, to give to hold, to nurture to welcome, it is all so familiar. White washed canvas artfully brushed with shades of sea greens and blues, of shell pinks and peaches, beautifully worn in just the right places. And all acquiesces to the expanse of white sand and dunes that is the beach. I have planted beach roses leading down the path to the beach. They remind me of days in Rhode Island ... but no rocky beach here, no. The harshness of the New England shore has been replaced by white beach and Atlantic swells. I love it so much that I can't see leaving yet. Other places will wait. I want to enjoy this while I have it. Impermanence is such that I want to roll in it like a dog in something that smells amazing - I want it all over me. If I leave I want to carry the smell with me.

Thought 16: Connecting in Meaningful Ways 30 Day Challenge

So much of what we cling to doesn't exist. It may have existed in the past, but it doesn't now; or it may exist in the future, but it hasn't happened yet. The place and time where we can actually create something is TODAY...NOW.  It is important to remember and learn from the past. It is important to have a vision for the future, but once you have all that, don't hold on so blindly and so tightly that you miss the opportunity to bring the ART that is you...the creative force that is you, into today...into this moment. Being mindful of NOW is truly the only way that you can change the world, and like the butterfly effect, it is the small gestures, the kindnesses, the thoughtfulness, the forgiving heart that will move you to that vision of tomorrow, however it finally unfolds.

There is nothing more destructive than measuring yourself against others. Why would you do that? Unless their path is EXACTLY yours, which I can promise you it isn't, you are setting yourself up for a difficult time and an unhappy ending. YOU provide your best point of measurement and comparison for you. Where might you improve, what might you do differently, what is your highest good and what might be the next step in moving towards that. LEARN from other people's stories, but don't try to become them - your story is far too valuable and needed - keep writing it!

With Love,
Betsy

Thought 15: Connecting in Meaningful Ways 30 Day Challenge

What if something were to happen where we all started seeing each other in this way? What if we each became acutely aware of how important we all are, in our own way, to each other and  to this spinning crust of earth in space? If the earth could speak, she would say this very thing to us. Why do we find it so hard to see this in each other? There is no us and them, there is only us.

With Love,
Betsy

Thought 14: Connecting in Meaningful Ways 30 Day Challenge

Sometimes it's easy as a parent to get wrapped around the axle of wanting for our children to the point where we're not passing on a healthy appreciation for today's blessings, but an unhealthy wanting, wanting, wanting, for whatever lies down the road. The problem with today's world is that things are loved and people are used, when in truth it should be the other way around, people should be loved and things used. In the end the world won't likely remember how much we made or what kind of a house we lived in, or what kind of a car we drove, but how we make people feel may be passed down for generations to come. This is what we should be passing on to our children. This is what will change the world, in the end.

With Love,
Betsy

Thought 13: Connecting in Meaningful Ways 30 Day Challenge

I wish for you that peace that is your true essential nature. To see the world through the eyes of promise and peace is to see a world that is evolving in goodness, in compassion, in kindness and in love. To start the day with promise is to move into the day with positive expectations - it's a great way to go out into the world and engage. To end the day in peace - in appreciation and gratitude and acknowledging all the blessings that exist today, is to end the day satisfied and complete. These simple acts of engagement can change your world and the world at large in profound ways.

Wishing you Love,
Betsy

Thought 12: Connecting in Meaningful Ways 30 Day Challenge

There's nothing wrong with normal or average...it's just not me.
Here's a great Ted Talk on outliers and their importance in the scheme of things:
http://www.ted.com/talks/shawn_achor_the_happy_secret_to_better_work

Thought 11: Connecting in Meaningful Ways 30 Day Challenge

To change the world, change yourself.

With Love,
Betsy

Thought 10: Connecting in Meaningful Ways 30 Day Challenge

Kindness is a powerful way to change the world. That one kind word that lifted someone's spirits - changed their world. Change the world one kind act at a time.

Thought 9: Connecting in Meaningful Ways 30 Day Challenge

All those higher consciousness things that you do for other people like compassion, forgiveness, unconditional love, kindness...practice first with yourself to perfect it, and then with the world to engage it.

With Love,
Betsy

Thought 8: Connecting in Meaningful Ways 30 Day Challenge

Don't walk away from what you are passionate about, run towards it!

“I learned this, at least, by my experiment; that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours. . . . In proportion as he simplifies his life, the laws of the universe will appear less complex, and solitude will not be solitude, nor poverty poverty, nor weakness weakness." Henry D. Thoreau

For me, this stage of my life is about simplifying and moving towards that which I am passionate about. It's a great space to be in.

With Love,
Betsy

Thought 7: Connecting in Meaningful Ways 30 Day Challenge

How much of our time is spent looking behind us, or in front of us, or looking over the fence at what we don't have, but might want? How much of our time is spent somewhere else besides, here...now...in this one time element that we DO have? The present moment holds amazing potential that we mostly fritter away worrying about the past, or planning for the future. Your love affair with life should be with the present moment, with those who stand before you, or just now walked into your life. A tree in an acorn is like your world in this moment. Don't ever loose sight of the wonder of that simple acorn that is this present moment.

With Love,
Betsy

Thought 6: Connecting in Meaningful Ways 30 Day Challenge

What if we were to look at life mathematically? What if we made KINDNESS the common denominator? Here's how it would work - as we go about our day, as we do things, as we interact with others, as we look, see, touch, feel, hear - do it with the denominator of kindness. 

Here is an example: As I take my morning walk - I do it with kindness. I give the dog an extra pat as I'm putting on her harness. I walk mindful of the earth and I pick up a discarded candy wrapper that I see and tuck it in my pocket thinking that being kind to the environment is as important as being kind to each other. I smile at the people I pass and say, "Good morning!" truly wishing them a good morning and a truly happy day.

It is a life changer - both for yourself, and for those to whom you choose to be kind.

With Love,
Betsy 

Thought 5: Connecting in Meaningful Ways 30 Day Challenge

When I see a homeless person, pushing a cart full of stuff down the street I find myself getting angry and indignant about how society is, and how government is, and how the world is, and how people are...

In that moment who has the problem? The "homeless person"...or me?

The personal insight provided in that moment is not about poverty, or the inequities of the world, it's about what I see and how I see it - that I used the lens of anger, and indignation, and righteousness and painted a truly confrontational and antagonistic world.

I ask myself, "what would this moment look like through the lens of love, of curiosity, of wonder, and of possibility? And I run that scenario and it looks VERY different...it feels VERY different...and I realize...WOW!...this is the way to engage with and change the world!

With Love,
Betsy

Thought 4: Connecting in Meaningful Ways 30 Day Challenge

Perspective determines how you move through life - how you see the world is how the world is. Don't get me wrong, this isn't about being delusional, but it is about that one thing that is truly yours...that one thing that nothing, and no one can change unless YOU let them. It is about the glass being half full or half empty and what does full and empty mean to you. In the end, the world IS, but the quality of your life is yours to create, to shape, to form. What masterpiece will today be? What's even more interesting is that what you consistently choose - your perspective - WILL start to change the world around you, and it reaches out like the waves created when a pebble is toss in a pond, changing your circumstances, impacting your future. Pay attention to your perspective and change the world - simple, but not easy.

With Love,
Betsy

Thought 3: Connecting in Meaningful Ways 30 Day Challenge

There is a quote from the movie, Mary Poppins, that has stuck with me since I first saw it as a child and that is "But sometimes a person we love, through no fault of his own, can't see beyond the end of his nose."  I believe that there are times we are all guilty of that challenge. It is so easy to get wrapped around the axle of process and loose sight of the simple truth of what is important - minus the stuff, that in the end, "doesn't matter a hill of beans."  What matters is to see the best in each other, to compassionately care, to graciously listen to others and give the gift of being truly heard and understood whether we agree or not...to see beyond the end of our nose.

With Love,

Betsy

Thought 2: Connecting in Meaningful Ways 30 Day Challenge

This quote brings to mind another quote, "People are made to be loved and things are made to be used, the confusion in this world is that people are used and things are loved."

For myself, as much pleasure as things have given me, people have given me more. I can't tell you how amazing it feels to be greeted with a HUGE hug and an enthusiastic welcome. It warms me right to my toes and makes me feel radiant. Sometimes it's easy to be lured by the things we would like only to find out that they diminish the love in our lives. I, for one, will ALWAYS gratefully choose love.

With Love,
Betsy

Thought 1: Connecting In Meaningful Ways 30 Day Challenge

Seeing other people...really seeing them is one of the most difficult things to do. When we look at someone we are interpreting what we are seeing according to our own experiences, understanding, and knowledge. But to really see someone is the art of not making it about the person looking, but about the person being seen. What is their story? What does what we are seeing mean to them (not us). Under this definition most people spend their lives drawing self centered conclusions about others. Connecting with others in meaningful ways means to see THEM.

The Foundations of A "Day In The Life"

Habits are what form the foundation of who we are and what we become. Humanity is a collective of creatures of habit. Our species' history is rich with stories premised on the forming of habits, the sustaining of habits and the dissolution of habits. On a personal level, developing habits that are beneficial or not, is something I have turned into a life experiment.

Let me give you an example: Over the last couple of years I have adopted a start and finish to my day that has several key ingredients. Before I get out of bed each morning I take the time to feel what it's like to be in my body. I express gratitude for this body that I travel this life in. Then I take a step outward and recognize my surroundings, and I am grateful for all of the many things - the roof over my head, the food I have to eat, the many things that make my life easier, more enjoyable - I express and feel tremendous gratitude for all of this. And I keep moving out in my mind, away from myself and into the world recognizing all that I have to be grateful for, all that enriches and blesses my life. And I always end this gratitude exercise by visually opening the door wider to allow more blessings to flow, and to let more light into my personal world. And finally, I release it all out to the world, to humanity, dedicating it to the highest good of all.

When I end my day, right before I go to sleep, I offer thanks for the blessings of that day. And I wrap those blessings in the words of intent for what I would like to see in my life and in the world. I have nine attributes (plus one) that I speak to as I gratefully review the days events. These are:
Peace - That profound peace of deep inner calm that is beyond understanding - that it hold me and the world in the palm of its hand
Power - The ability to create my life as I choose - to make it my glorious work of art and to join with others doing the same
Prosperity - To be blessed with all that I need to accomplish what I wish to accomplish - that my life be abundantly blessed
LOVE - That I be immersed in that AGAPE form of LOVE that is unconditional and profound, that I am a vehicle for its spread in the world
Light - That I be anchored to the "light of the spirit" so that it shines through me, from me, and to me. That I recognize and engage with others who are doing the same
Life - That I be healthy, and happy, and content and balanced, and long lived
Joy - That it be a part of my life every day - in music, in voice, in touch, in dance, in song, in whatever way it plays may it enrich my life
Beauty - That it surround me and fill my environment. That it please me, surprise me, and embrace me in its myriad forms throughout the day
Compassion - That I be able to recognize the suffering of others and that I compassionately respond and help as I can while at the same time reaching out continuously to connected COMPASSION and LOVE to the world at large.
AND recently I added HAPPINESS. As I came to the realization that to feel good and content about all of this was dependent on happiness - on feeling complete and content and delighted with the totality of it all.

These are the nine attributes (plus one) that I close my day with, each day, and then again, in my mind, I open the door wider to allow more into my life and out to the world. And finally, right before going to sleep, I release it all to the world, dedicating it to the highest good of all.

I share this process because these daily habits have changed my life in positive and amazing ways and continue to do so. I have come to trust in these habits and to understand that the daily work of laying the foundation of who I am and what I am going to do, is as important as the actual doing.

With LOVE,
Betsy

Be Considerate of What You Wish For

There has always been, in my mind, such a distinction between what happens in the "waking world"and what happens in the dream world of sleep and imagination. Yet, when I think about it...when I really think about it, the two are inextricably woven together.

I am a functional dreamer...you've heard of functional alcoholics, right? Well, I am a functional dreamer. I purposefully and artfully weave my dreams through my reality. The interesting thing about this process is that the reality takes on the hues, tones, and texture of the dreams...and sometimes...just sometimes...they actually merge and become one...and WOW! That's where the magic of "what might be" meets the medium of "what is".

So right now I am in the middle of a "Dream Weaver"project. I left my 8 to 5, 40+ hours a week job to set sail for the open sea of what might exist beyond the place I felt "less than" in. I am in the midst of dreaming, weaving, living, and ordering what this "new" reality is. So here are some of the criteria I have, so far, that I am weaving into this new way of being:

- I have natural rhythms that will lie at the heart of this life: when I need sleep - I sleep; when I need exercise - I do it; when I need to meditate - I am welcome to do that. In fact, there is a self caring graciousness of acceptance, love, and honor. It is about self care and self love, that is then available to the world in the form of other care, and other love. It is balanced and healthful way for all.

- People are a key component of this reality in an amazingly rich and balance symbiotic way. We collectively lift each other up, care about each other, honor each other, respect each other, and love each other exactly as we each are, with all of our faults and foibles, with all of our brilliance and uniqueness. At the heart of the people in my life lies acceptance, love, and care.

These are two of a number of the threads that I am weaving this new dreamscape with. I am pleased to say that even as the body ages, even as end of life is inevitable, the dream continues, the creativity flows and at the heart of it Love thrives.

With Love,
Betsy

We Are All Just Walking Each Other Home

Sometimes I find myself stepping back and marveling at the complexity that humanity has created in order to get from birth to death.  We are all just walking each other home.  It seems pretty simple when it's put that way.  Each moment of the journey is rich with possibility, with blessings, with challenges, but in the end it's just a step on a journey of many steps. It is too easy to get wrapped around the axle of past, present, or future - to loose perspective.  For some, being wrapped around the axle of life has become a way of life.  For some, the beauty and simplicity and camaraderie of the journey has been lost in the man made complexity.  

We are all just walking each other home.  

Does it matter if you are first, or last?  In truth I enjoy walking shoulder to shoulder so that we can touch, so that on this short journey of a lifetime we can be more intimate, and get to know each other.  I would like to foster a relationship with those that I walk with of listening, and caring, or helping and encouraging and of gracious generosity of heart, mind, and spirit. We should not be tripping, hindering, blocking, restricting, or in anyway impeding or making the journey artificially difficult.  That is foolish, childish, selfish behavior that inevitable leaves one alone on a dusty road to death. There is no purpose for petty nuances on this simple journey.

We are all just walking each other home.

Walk with me awhile.  I appreciate your company.  I am pleased and honored to walk with you, and I am grateful for your company, however, long we walk together.  Thank you for enriching our walk home.

With Love

Betsy

The Rhythms and Patterns of Life

Lately I have been tuning in more to the rhythms and patterns of my life and life around me.  My patterns and rhythms are fairly simple, and because I have lived with them, they are easy to figure out and understand.  I like that things have slowed down some from mid-life.  I like that simplicity and lack of complication suites me now.  Is it a different life than I imagined?  I can't really say.  It is different than my parents led me to believe, but then their lives probably couldn't survive in today's world, and how they did things would not fit well anymore. That means there's been a lot of re-learning on my part in order to get to this point.  I am tremendously blessed.  What I find interesting is that most of what I have had to adjust for is man made changes, like how to make a living, and the impermanence of relationships and familial units.  The things of nature have changed some due to man's influence, but not as much as the man made constructs.

I recently had a conversation with a friend around the concept of living past 100 years old.  Aging isn't always easy, and the thought of dragging the deterioration process out longer just doesn't appeal to me.  As it is we have senior homes brimming with elderly who's quality of life is hugely diminished.  I ask myself, why would I want to live longer if it's under conditions that, for me, carry no attraction?  For me, the answer is, I don't.  I don't know how I will meet my end.  As in the rest of my life, there is so much that I just couldn't have predicted.  What I do know is that I will continue to create the art that is my life for as long as I can, and as richly and abundantly and graciously as I can.  I will let the rest take care of itself.  That's probably the nicest thing about getting older, the end for us all is the same, so how we get there becomes so much easier to orchestrate as the options narrow.

TIME - HAVING IT, NOT HAVING IT, WHAT IS IT?

Lately, I have been recognizing time is my companion.  It is not steady.  There are times when it wears on me: dragging out, slowing down, and not moving along.  There are other times when it pesters me to distraction: going too fast, sneaking up on me, catching me unawares, making me late.  That's time.  It is a fickle companion at best.  I find myself resenting it when it moves past a moment that I would like to hold on to.  But then, there are times I love it dearly as it unfolds growth, learning, and awareness.  I love those parts of it that are constant - things you can count on - like the seasons, and the cycle of darkness and light.  Rachel Carson wrote of nature's clock, " There is something infinitely healing in the repeated refrains of nature - the assurance that dawn comes after night, and spring after winter." At the same time there is something challenging about time and how it seeps through our fingers; how it flies by unseen and unappreciated.  We may temporarily catch sight of it in glimpses of ecstasy and moments of evolution, but, for the most part, it continues in the background, unseen, ticking by.

So here's my challenge to me - be more mindful of time - my own, that of others.  Live comfortably in the natural cycles and rhythms of time.  Weave LOVE through it all.

With Love,
Betsy

ONE OF MY FAVORITE POEMS: BARTER, by Sara Teasdale

Barter BY SARA TEASDALE

Life has loveliness to sell,
All beautiful and splendid things,
Blue waves whitened on a cliff,
Soaring fire that sways and sings,
And children's faces looking up
Holding wonder like a cup.

Life has loveliness to sell,
Music like a curve of gold,
Scent of pine trees in the rain,
Eyes that love you, arms that hold,
And for your spirit's still delight,
Holy thoughts that star the night.

Spend all you have for loveliness,
Buy it and never count the cost;
For one white singing hour of peace
Count many a year of strife well lost,
And for a breath of ecstasy
Give all you have been, or could be.

The lovely moments that life has to offer are immeasurably delicious. Each moment, like a delicacy in a smorgasbord of moments.  Each with its own unique flavor and experience.  It seems impossible to think that we, each of us, wouldn't choose to be out there, always, living in this delightful experience.  Yet, there are times that withdrawal suites me.  Where I am inspired to step away, and experience the void that is the other side of this picture.  I am an addict, and life is the drug.  In the quiet hours of my solitude I seek peace, and simplicity and the space between the moments to breathe in the emptiness.  I too have my spring, summer, fall, and winter.  The nature of all that we experience is impermanence.  So, even as I dance with impermanence I wish to be reminded that it is a dream state.  I value, just as much, the moments where I find myself shaking the dream off, momentarily, and resting in that which is.  Those moments help to lend perspective to the dream.

"In that act of passing through my life there is a sparkling trail of memories that light up my heart."

Love comes into our lives in many different ways. Twenty three years ago love came into my life wrapped in a 5lb 11oz bundle of bright eyed wonder. Born under water, this little being didn't seem to be in any anguish or distress, but instead seemed amazed that this new world of light was still so wet and warm. Like a small creature coming out of the primordial sea, the mid wife placed this Aquarian born child in my arms and it was love at first sight on my part. I had spent nine months preparing for her arrival, and yet, once she was in my arms it was life by the seat of my pants for awhile. Nothing has ever been the same, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Someone said to me once, "a child passes through your life and disappears into adulthood." It is so true, and yet in that act of passing through my life there is a sparkling trail of memories that light up my heart, like diamonds of sunlight dancing on the wake of a boat. To have had the opportunity to have loved so deeply, so purely, and so totally was truly a blessing. At twenty three, she is beautiful, as she stands on the threshold of her adult life. There is promise and optimism, there is life and enthusiasm, and most importantly there is love and laughter. I am eternally grateful for this gift that has taken twenty three years to fully unwrap. I love her for having blessed my life so completely, but I love her more for what she is becoming. Celebrating Mother's Day helps me to stop, and pause, and reflect on the blessings that motherhood has brought to my life.

Being Comfortable with Not Knowing

I had an event, recently in my life, that this quote truly applies to.  I have no idea what happened.  I may never know what happened, and, in the end, I need to make peace with that.  It has been a couple of months now and what I am realizing is that I have spent far too much time rerunning a really bad piece of an otherwise delightful "movie" of a time in my life.  What this is doing is spoiling the otherwise great memories.  My need to know, to control, to understand isn't serving me well in this instance.  I need to shut it down and move on: to hold onto the great memories and the cherished times and let the rest go.  Not that I will forget.  There are some learnings there that I need to hold on to, but to keep experiencing the pain, the sadness, the loss - that is masochistic.  My choice, then, is to surrender to not knowing.  I'm good with that.

A LOVE Letter to Dreamers and Dream Builders

There is so much encouragement and support for dreaming the dream...living the dream...building the dream...
There are so many dreams out there. There is a sea of dreams rich with hopes, and loves, and wins. What happens when dreams collide?  What happens when someone's "big dream" runs over someone's "little dream"?

We are all so busy dreaming the dream we sometimes miss the point that the dream is the vehicle and that LOVE is the purpose.

Yes, I dream the dream.  Yes, I have goals and vision, but every day, multiple times a day, I physically and mentally let it all go...release it to the universe and I put one simple request out there:

Let this dream build, strengthen, fortify, nurture, and be in sync with LOVE...every moment...every gesture...every thought...in all ways...and let that LOVE that I am a small infinitesimal part of flow back to me in torrents, in waves, in tsunamis of  blessings that fulfill my dreams beyond my wildest imagination.

I envision that each step of my path... each gesture... each word is a vehicle for LOVE to grow.  I see in my minds eye that my moving through this world is a vehicle for LOVE to find expression.

Wishing you all a LOVE filled dream.

With LOVE,

Betsy

Find Beauty in the World and Bring it Forward

Each of us have lives that are uniquely us.  Each day there are many many things that come into our lives, some in our control and some not in our control.  Find the beautiful, the uniquely wonderful, the divine, the simply impressive, the joyful, the rhythmically inviting, the goose bump inducing awesome, and share it...bring it forward...shine a light on it.

So today, here are some of those things, and it's only 10:25AM.  Think about what the end of my day will look like given that this has come to me in the beginning hours of my life, today.  I opened all of the blinds and let the morning sunlight come pouring, streaming, flooding into my room.  I heard the birds singing outside my window...lovely trills and urgent calls...life's voice needing to express itself, needing to be heard. I made a steaming pot of Cherry Chocolate coffee and topped it off with Mocha Peppermint creamer and took my coffee out onto the sunny porch along with my Nook and read some wonderful contemplative passages from Awareness by Anthony De Mello. In the forward to the book, J Francis Stroud says of De Mello, "That was what his work was all about, waking people up to the reality of their greatness."

A passage from the book for you, "Spirituality means waking up.  Most people, even though they don't know it, are asleep...They never understand the loveliness and the beauty of this thing that we call human existence." 

Finally, I shine the light on you, the reader of this post.  You are loveliness that has touched my life by reading this.  You are loveliness that will think on this and move from it to make it a part of your life's art.  I honor your connectedness in the co-creation of life.

Flowers and Art in Milwaukee: Art in Bloom

This weekend I was invited to go the the Milwaukee Art Museum to attend the Flowers in Bloom exhibit.  I went with a friend and her family and had a wonderful time.  What a great place to people watch!  The museum was crowded with art and flower lovers and the floral interpretations of the works of fine art were inspired.

Here are a few:
The use of color, shape, and texture in the floral arrangements was ingenious.  In this piece the angular petals and strong vertical stem lines truly mirror the painting.

Even the containers were used to pick up color accents and various planes in the art work.

The use of objects in the arrangements was both startling and pleasing.

What a great way to spend a lovely Sunday afternoon on a spring day.

On Mindfulness

There are times when it seems that I am caught up in the currents of life which seem to pull me off my feet and drag me under.  They buffet and sweep me along, and it's easy to feel helpless, the victim of something outside of myself.  I find I have to remind myself that it is not the conditions of life that determine my well being, but how I hold myself as I go through life.  Mindfulness is key to moving through life.  Biblically it is framed as being in the world, but not of it.   Here is a prayer that I was recently introduced to at Quan Am Nam Hai Monastery in Panama City, Florida that frames mindfulness.  

This particular call to worship frames the early morning practice that starts each day:

The dharma body is bringing the morning light.
In concentration my heart is at peace.
A half smile is formed on my lips.
This is a new day and I vow to go through it in mindfulness.
The sun of wisdom has risen in every direction.
Noble Sangha bring your mind into meditation.
Namo Shakyamuni Buddha ya.

I recently awoke from a dream.  It was a lovely dream, but a dream none the less.  The dream was so strong that I awoke with a real sense of loss and sadness.  I realized that I have a real attachment to dreaming.  When I awoke there were caring hearts to greet me and loving arms to hug me and comfort me.  My life is so amazingly blessed.  I count my blessings this morning and then release them to the world as I say this blessing:

For all of the peoples and the nations of the earth, may not even the names disease, famine, war and suffering, be heard, but rather may their moral conduct, merit, wealth, and prosperity increase, and may supreme good fortune and well being always arise for them.  

I offer this blessing to all, equally.  I wish you well.

With Love

The Art of Caring

Life is Art.  You don't find yourself, you create yourself.  We, each of us, have our favorite colors, our favorite music, our favorite places...I have my favorite medium for creating my life - it's CARING.  I am surrounded, every single day, with an ever changing collection of fellow human beings.  One of my favorite things to do is dive into this living sea of humanity and show that I care, that I notice, that I see, that it (whatever it is in the moment) matters to me.  Have you ever seen sunlight play through the surface of a body of water?  It's lovely.  It dances, and illuminates, and charges the water with potential for life to move through and be seen, embraced by sunlight.  That's what I like to do with the people around me.  I truly enjoy charging my environment with my light and illuminating and celebrating the life that moves through it.  So...what is your favorite medium in creating your life?

Friends...yes, friends - I love them!

Friends...yes, friends - I love them!  They enrich my life and bring such dimension to my purpose, my path. Being a friend is such a blessing and a responsibility.  Being true friends can be even more challenging when there is physical distance between friends, when those who are friends are not privy to the the day to day bits and pieces of life that build their todays.  There is so much of that which is shaping us now, that they have no knowledge of.  So the deep conversations that occurred when we shared the same space is now missing in the exchanges that are limited to emails, phone calls, and Skype sessions.  Some of these life building details will come out in those conversations, but not nearly as much as when you share the same space; when you have that constant contact and those micro interactions that build our collective todays.  I am feeling that distance and loss of intimacy with my dear friends in Green Bay.  I have been gone now for going on five months.  Yes, we do email, write notes and cards, and call on occasion, but it's not the same.  Friendship embraced in immersion in the present is the most connected form.  I miss it.  I feel the distance and the loss and it does require me to adjust.  Yes, I am building new friends in my new home, and yes, they are wonderful, special, and a blessing, but they lack the time and disclosure that is invested in those who you have been friends with for a long time.  So the change that comes with retiring and moving to a warmer climate also includes the realm of friends. Absence does make the heart grow fonder and I am looking forward to reconnecting with my dear friends in Green Bay when I go back to visit this summer.  So to all of my friends - I love you!  For those who are a part of my growing circle of distant friends - I miss you, and am soooo looking forward to seeing you again, until them we WILL stay connected.

With Love

The Road Less Traveled

In case you hadn't noticed, I've taken some time off from my focus on sharing my thoughts and working on my calling - building others to greatness (at least in a public arena).  This was due to a number of reasons, with first and foremost having retired from my 8 to 5 job in Wisconsin, and moving to Florida.  That happened in November of last year.  Once in Florida I needed to established my life - to determine what this new location held for me both physically and spiritually.  Sooooo, it's taken until now to really get my feet underneath me and to start to feel, see, and envision my path as embraced by these changes.  Which brings me to the subject of my chat today - change.

So here are some words that have gelled together, for me, around the concept of change: minimizing, reducing, eliminating, sorting, valuing, letting go, collecting up, prioritizing, relocating physically, relocating mentally, adjusting, reflecting, death, rebirth...here are some emotions that I have processed during this time: fear, uncertainty, anxiety, happiness, exhilaration, anger, regret, doubt, love, surprise, disappointment, distrust, trust, loss, gratitude, self compassion, empathy.

WOW! So Yeah! That's a lot to go through in four months, never mind a HUGE economic change.  In the end, I know, after four months, that I made the right choice.  Change of this level is very much like the birthing process, in that it is somewhat traumatic.  And, like the birthing process, it is helpful to have people around you who are there to support you, encourage you, physically hold you and emotionally love you as you process this struggle.  That's not to say that I executed this change with grace, skill, or finesse.  At times the process was painful, awkward, and complicated, more than I feel in hind sight it had to be.  All that being said, in the end it was successful.  In the end that is what is important, that at the age of 60 I was able to transition to a different life, and it didn't destroy me, or harm me, or in any way leave me depleted.  Instead, I have emerged exponentially better for the effort.  I am substantially happier, energized, healthier, and most importantly inspired, fired up, and purposeful.  And it is about my calling, my purpose, my gifts that I bring to the world.  The energy that I was putting into other people's causes, products, purpose, wasn't aligned well.  It's not that I don't give, volunteer, help, and work with others and their causes, it's that the balance and alignment is now MUCH healthier.  The change that I chose meant taking a substantial reduction in compensation.  That was one of the toughest changes to adapt to, but I have found I truly need very little to thrive, and I see that following my calling, my passion is the right thing to do and is evolving an income stream that is truly in alignment with who I am and what I love and believe in.  It feels soooo much better than making as much as I did when I was sacrificing purpose in order to make a living, and I couldn't have done any of this without the support of those who believe in me and who believe in the gifts that I bring to the world.

With Love

To Love Another Person is to See the Face of God

"To love another person is to see the face of God." - Jean Valjean, Act II, Les Miserables

Hi my friend,

Remember back in high school, when secret admirers would leave little notes, shoved into your locker?

This note is kinda like that. Except, I don’t want to invite you to the homecoming dance.

I just want to say how much you — your sharing and putting it out there — have already changed my life.

You've shown me that it’s totally possible to connect and share ideas, thoughts, insights, and personal experiences, even when it seems like no one would care or be interested.

And you've inspired me to step out of my comfort zone and put thoughts and experiences out there. I honestly don’t think I would've done it, if I hadn't discovered you first.

Imagine that on this Valentines Day I have left you something special on your virtual doorstep, or in your virtual locker — there would be chocolates, roses and champagne, waiting for you.

Even though I can only leave virtual tokens of my appreciation and caring for you, I can offer a very real and heartfelt thought -  let me simply say:

Thank you.

The Ludicrousness of Low Hanging Fruit

There is a mantra in a lot of businesses that focuses on, "tackling the low hanging fruit".  In the company conversations I have been privy to, the catch phrases that proliferate are ones like, "quick wins", "move the dial", "raise the bar" - you've heard it too if you've been there.  So here's the problem, there are some deep lying flaws to this approach that cause companies and good people who truly want to move the organization in good directions to endlessly chase their tails.

The first and most debilitating flaw to this way of thinking is that most if not all of the low hanging fruit does not address the root of the problem.  Low hanging fruit, or symptomatic problems, arise from much deeper issues.  So the challenge for organizations is to not get caught up in the busy work of low hanging fruit and to step back and truly think deeply and communicate effectively to uncover the true challenges that lie at the root of these symptomatic issues.

The second, and most personally debilitating flaw, for individuals involved in chasing low hanging fruit, is that these individuals get a false sense of success and accomplishments that feeds a career path based on wrong thinking.  Companies that have leadership teams who think that low hanging fruit is the be all and end all, become companies who continually feel the need to tighten their control over their people because they have failed to let go of their limited thinking and to look for the root causes of their challenges.  Fault finding and blaming is the child of flawed thinking.

Collective Knowledge is Powerful - So What's the Collective?

I recently read a great quote from Seth Godin, "For me doing is the core of it.  If you've done something with what you've learned, then maybe you know it."

When do you ever actually know it all about anything?  Really?  There is a fine line between having extensive knowledge about something, and being a "know it all".  Sadly, our models of leadership and management push good people to go to bad places because they feel that their job description dictates that they "know it all".

Knowing it all is a BAD place.  People who know it all take a defensive stand of their knowledge and expertise, and their capacity to learn takes a back seat to their capacity to WIN.  A defensive posture is counterproductive to being open to new ideas, ways of doing things, ways of thinking, or even revolutionary breakthroughs.

We each have belief and knowledge systems that we navigate life with.  These differ from one person to the next.  The problem comes when we start to believe that unless what we're considering falls in the acceptable range of our life's navigation system it is wrong, bad, negative, harmful, destructive...  Being open minded requires us to regularly stretch our horizons of understanding and knowledge and to test the waters of the new, different, innovative, and sometimes counterculture.  Outliers are NOT our enemies but windows into different ways of thinking.

Here is a great Ted video featuring Shawn Achor that speaks to the effects of not being more open to the outliers:  http://www.ted.com/talks/shawn_achor_the_happy_secret_to_better_work.html

Failure...IT SUCKS!

Failure...IT SUCKS, and it's inevitable.  It's a given.  It's going to happen to you...more than once...in a lifetime, a lot more than once.  I recently retired from a job that I had been at for 15 years.  The last year of that work was one of the most challenging.  There was A LOT of opportunity for failure, and I fell victim to it more than once in that last year.  So here's the nugget - we, collectively, don't handle other people's failures well.  Seth Godin writes in his Blog Cheering you on when you lose, "who is waiting at the finish line, and who will be cheering for you at the final banquet, even when you don't win?  Especially when you don't win.."  

So let's be clear about WHY you would want to be there cheering someone on when they lose.

• You, better than anybody, should understand that failure is a given.  If you have any doubts about that look to your own life for verification - you are not perfect.  Neither is anyone else.
• Failure is a given, so learning to handle it effectively with yourself and with others is important.  If you expect to get from point A to point B in a team setting, you better get a handle on how you deal with the failures of others.
• You do not have all the answers and you cannot accomplish all that you need to accomplish without the help or teamwork of others.
• Failure, for the person experiencing it, is not a place of comfort.  There is risk; there is loss; there is a myriad of emotions - frustration, anger, disappointment, sadness...

To move through failure, people need to work through what happened.  They need someone to LISTEN.  Failure is a kind of wound.  Failure creates vulnerability. If we are to grow and learn from our failures, we need the space and grace of those around us helping us to realize that the wound is localized, that it, alone, does not define us, and that, yes, we will get to the other side of this healing process and be able to come away with learnings.  When we are going through failures we need those around us to hold to the vision of our impending success being strengthened by this time of loss.

Things NOT to do when someone fails:

• Criticize - kick someone when they are down.
• Add our own emotions (anger disappointment, frustration, fear) to the cacophony of self inflicted emotions that the person who has failed is already going through.  There may need to be time to share, and THIS IS NOT THE TIME.
• Be callous to what those going through failure are experiencing..."Suck it up!...Grow a scab!...Get over it!..."

 Here's another nugget for you: how YOU feel about someone else's failure is NOT going to help them successfully process what happened.  THE BEST THING THAT YOU CAN DO FOR SOMEONE PROCESSING FAILURE IS LISTEN.  Give those processing their own failure the space and grace to work through what happened.  Use this time, as you listen, to come to better understand their point of view and how THEY see their failure and their path forward.  Often times you will find that your input is superfluous.  We, each of us, have an amazing capacity to heal ourselves given the space and grace to do that.

With Love

A Cavalcade of Loveliness for Your Weekend

Sending warm thoughts of happiness, bliss, love, and joy to you this weekend!

Some ideas for inviting these qualities into your weekend:

• Listen to some great music, watch a delightful video, bowl yourself over with a musical experience.  Here are a couple of ideas to get you started: 

       

The Piano Guys share their love of music with some seniors

We are All Connected

How It Was Done   The Music

• Read something that moves you - that touches your heart, your soul, your very being.

About the Blue Sweater    The Book

• Do something kind, thoughtful, helpful for someone else.

350 Ideas for Random Acts of Kindness

• Celebrate the amazing difference you have made through these simple acts and deeds! 

Have a wonderful weekend my friends!

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